“And it came to pass in those days that Peter Obi was led to the social-media palace of the APC High Priest, where the scribes, elders and assorted political commentators were gathered.
And many false witnesses came forward against him. But their testimonies did not agree.
Until two witnesses appeared and said:
“Behold! His wife was seen carrying an expensive Hermès handbag!”
And the multitude gasped.
The High Priest turned to Obi and said:
“Are you truly an honest and prudent man? Why then is your wife carrying a handbag whose alleged price is enough to make an average Nigerian faint?”
And Obi answered:
“You have said it yourself. I am an honest man. But my wife has her own business and her own money, and she decides what she buys with it.”
And he added:
“Soon you will see the Son of Obi seated at the right hand of Power and coming upon the clouds of the ballot box.”
When the High Priest heard this, he tore his garments and cried:
“Blasphemy!”
And the council agreed that Obi was deserving of punishment. For they cringed at the thought of him winning at the ballot.
Then they spat upon him on social media. They struck him with memes, mocked him with hashtags, and called upon their followers to stone him with comments.
But they had no power to do more than this.
And early the next morning, the APC Sanhedrin dragged Peter Obi to the Praetorium of Governor Soludo.
But they themselves did not enter, lest they become ceremonially unclean before the Elections.
And they accused Obi, saying:
“This man perverts the nation. He forbids the people from voting for us. He tells them that public office should be treated as a stewardship and claims that he alone is righteous.”
Then Soludo called Obi privately and asked him:
“Are you really as clean as you say?”
And Obi answered:
“My cleanliness is not of this world.”
And Soludo found no clear offence in him.
So he sought a way to avoid judgment and set him.free.
But then he remembered the election of 2010, when Obi had prevailed over him in the contest for the governorship of Anambra, despite the structures, connections and much-talked-about “federal might” that had stood behind him.
Ever since, the mention of the name Peter Obi made him nervous. For the people loved Obi very much.
And Soludo remembered.
And the memory was bitter.
Nevertheless, he concealed his thoughts beneath the robes of official objectivity.
Then he sent Obi to Jagaban Antipas, who was in Abuja.
For Soludo knew that Jagaban had no great love for Obi.
And Jagaban received Obi.
But instead of dirtying his own hands, he sent forth his spokespersons and his social-media attack dogs.
And they mocked Obi.
And they barked at him.
And they accused him.
And they produced videos, graphics, memes and talking points.
But secretly, Jagaban desired that the blood should appear upon somebody else’s hands.
Therefore he sent Obi back to Soludo.
And on that day, Soludo and Jagaban became friends.
For although they belonged to different political parties, they now had a common enemy.
And there was an election custom in those days that the governor should release one prisoner whom the crowd desired.
Now there was in prison a notorious man called Akwa Okuko, whom some accused of sorcery, ritual incitement, kidnapping and making extravagant promises of wealth.
And Soludo brought him before the chief priests and elders.
Then he said:
“Whom do you want me to release for you: Akwa Okuko, or Peter Obi, who is called Okwute?”
For Soludo knew that the chief priests and elders had handed Obi over because of envy.
And perhaps, if truth be told, envy had also entered the house.
And while Soludo sat upon the judgment seat, his wife and advisers sent him messages, saying:
“Have nothing to do with that righteous man, for we have suffered much because of him in our dreams.”
Meanwhile, the chief priests and elders went among the rented crowd.
And they whispered.
And they persuaded.
And they mobilised.
And they taught the multitude what answer to give.
Then Soludo came before the crowd and asked:
“Which of these two do you want me to release: Akwa Okuko or Peter Obi?”
And the crowd shouted:
“Akwa Okuko!”
And Soludo asked:
“What then shall I do with Peter Obi, who is called Mr Clean?”
And the crowd shouted:
“Crucify him!”
And again they cried:
“Crucify him!”
Then Soludo asked:
“Why? What evil has he done?”
But the crowd had already been instructed what to say.
And they shouted even louder:
“Crucify him! If you do not crucify him, you are not a friend of Jagaban.”
Then Soludo, desiring to satisfy the chief priests and elders, brought forth the matter of the loans.
And the scribes presented false documents, figures and balances.
And the Anambra Government declared that Obi’s administration had left external loan obligations which were still being serviced.
But Obi denied that he had left the state owing money in the sense alleged, and challenged his accusers to prove their case.
And the scribes argued over what constituted a loan, who borrowed it, who guaranteed it, who received it, who repaid it and under whose name it appeared in the books.
And the people were confused.
For some documents spoke of federal borrowing and on-lending.
Others spoke of state obligations.
And everyone claimed to possess the truth.
And so the matter became another weapon in the political wilderness.
Then the chief priests and elders said to Soludo:
“You have done well.”
And they declared:
“His political blood be upon us and upon our children!”
Then they dragged Obi away.
And they mocked him.
And they scourged him with press statements.
And they struck him with interviews.
And they crowned him with allegations.
And they placed a cross upon his shoulders, made of old records, new accusations and the weight of 2027.
And they led him towards Golgotha.
But this was no ordinary Golgotha.
It was called Social Media.
And there, the multitude gathered.
Some came to crucify him.
Some came to defend him.
Some came merely to make videos.
And the soldiers nailed him to the cross of public opinion.
And above his head they placed a notice:
“PETER OBI — KING OF THE OBIDIENT.”…
*Victor Anazonwu, a public affairs analyst and author, is a member of The Renaissance Online Magazine editorial board.
