In those days,the rulers of the land, the governors, the ministers, the contractors, and the custodians of the national cake, dwelt in great comfort. Their robes were flowing, their convoys without number, and their banquets everlasting. And they loved greetings in the marketplaces and the sounding of sirens before men. But the people of the kingdom groaned under heavy burdens and strange doctrines,
Now, there arose a certain man from the land of Anambra, in the region of the Dot in a Circle, named Peter Obi. And the common people heard him gladly, for he spake continually of prudence, production and accountability, which were words not commonly heard in the courts of princes.
And when the rulers of the land heard that the multitudes followed Obi, they were sore troubled in spirit.
Then gathered together the Chief Politicians, the Scribes of Television, and the Pharisees of the Two Great Parties unto a secret council.
And one among them arose and said, “What do we? For this man performeth many dangerous things. Behold, he speaketh of cutting the cost of governance. If we let him alone, all men shall begin to ask questions concerning budgets and missing billions.”
Another answered, saying, “Yea, and already the youths shout his name upon the internet without collecting transport money. This thing hath never before happened in our democracy.”
And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Then sent they certain men unto him, pretending themselves to be seekers of truth, that they might catch him in his talk.
And they said unto him, “Master, we know that thou art true and carest for the people. Tell us therefore, is it lawful for politicians to travel abroad with entourages of four hundred persons?”
But Obi perceived their craftiness and answered, “Show me the budget.”
And they brought unto him a document full of confusion and invisible figures.
And he said unto them, “Whose signatures and allocations are these?”
They answered and said, “Caesar’s.”
Then said he unto them, “Render therefore unto the people the hospitals that belong unto the people; and unto the schools, the monies that belong unto the schools.”
And they could not answer him a word.
Now the multitude increased daily, and there arose a great movement among the youths called the Obidients. And these were feared exceedingly by the establishment, for they possessed neither guns nor bullion vans, yet they troubled the mighty through tweets and polling units.
The Pharisees therefore spread abroad many accusations.
Some said, “He is too stingy to rule over us.”
Others cried, “Can any good thing come out of Onitsha?”
And the hired analysts upon the television declared daily, saying, “This movement existeth only on social media.”
Yet whenever election crowds were gathered, the stadiums overflowed, while the rented supporters of the old parties slept beneath canopies after collecting rice and two thousand naira.
And it came to pass that a rich young politician approached Obi secretly by night, saying, “Good Master, what shall I do to inherit public trust?”
And Obi answered him, “Keep the promises.”
The young man replied, “All these have I promised from my youth upward.”
Then Obi looked upon him and said, “One thing thou lackest: go thy way, publish thy true assets, stop buying delegates, and serve without stealing.”
But when the politician heard this saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had many properties in Abuja, London and Dubai.
Now during the season of campaigns, the establishment became exceedingly afraid. For everywhere the people cried, “Hosanna! Blessed is he that cometh without private jets, money bags, and a retinue of dancing governors!”
And the old order trembled.
Then the Chief Priests of Politics stirred up false witnesses against him.
One witness said, “This man seeketh to scatter our structures.”
Another declared, “He speaketh dangerously of competence.”
And a third cried aloud, “If he reigneth over us, how shall we continue emergency contracts?”
Yet even among the rulers, many believed in him secretly, though they feared to speak openly lest they lose appointments and estacodes.
Then came the great election day.
And the people journeyed from far and near to cast their votes. The sun smote them by day and the darkness by night, yet they endured all things for hope’s sake.
But behold, strange mysteries occurred in the land.
Machines that were anointed to transmit results developed sudden paralysis.
Servers entered into everlasting sleep.
And electoral angels delayed exceedingly.
Then the people lamented loudly upon social media, crying, “INEC, INEC, why hast thou forsaken the portal?”
But the establishment mocked them, saying, “Trust the process or go to court.” For they knew that they and the judges were in one accord.
And when the final declarations were proclaimed, there was confusion and sorrow throughout the land.
The rulers rejoiced greatly and held thanksgiving services with mighty convoys. But the multitudes wandered about astonished, asking one another, “What manner of arithmetic is this?”
Yet Obi continued steadfastly, speaking peaceably unto his followers.
And he said unto them, “Be not afraid. Though truth falleth seven times in the marketplace, it shall rise again. Let not your hearts be troubled by temporary victories of Pharaohs.”
But the Pharisees still pursued him diligently.
Whenever he spoke of policy, they answered concerning tribe.
Whenever he spoke of production, they answered concerning religion.
Whenever he spoke of debt, they answered concerning grammar.
For they understood neither economics nor shame.
And thus the struggle continued in the land.
For the establishment loved power exceedingly, and the people loved hope yet more.
And the citizens sat daily before their fuel stations and empty wallets, pondering these things in their hearts.
Selah.
*Victor Anazonwu is a member, Editorial Board of the Renaissance Online Magazine. He is also a lecturer and author. Email: victor.elipses@gmail.com
